Books, CUTS, and Colds
by Happy Chinese Broccoli
Summary: Characters from many books and mangas somehow become trapped in an anime fangirl's room as well as many alternate planes of reality. What will happen? This is the crossover to end all crossovers! Written under the influence of the medicine I was taking fo


Once again, I have a random story full of crazy. And once again it was originally done for my Creative Writing class. Wow. A pattern. Cool! This is the best I can do for posting because taking the PSAT two months ago killed my brain and made school a bunch harder. Which means less time to write. (tears) But Christmas Break will be full of updating goodness! I promise! I hope you like this one!

"-Blah-" Is Tobias/the bird thought-speaking.

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**Books, C.U.T.S., and Colds**

Sniffle.

"Don't sniffle! Blow your nose!"

"'K, Mom."

"We'll be gone for a few hours. Try to get some sleep."

A door slammed shut, leaving the house silent as a lone figure crawled up the stairs. A half-erected Christmas tree stood in the living room, and boxes from the attic sat near it. Pinecone turkeys adorned the coffee table, and turkey stuffed the fridge. Why the odd blend of ornamentation? It was Thanksgiving Break.

And she had a bad cold.(And an ear infection!)

Bummer.

And little did she know, it was about to get worse.

Murmuring voices came from behind the closed bedroom door. Odd. She was the only one home.

She pushed open the door to reveal her room. Although that was a misnomer, since it was shared. She didn't sleep in two beds after all. The stuff plastering half of the walls were hers though. Especially that wallscroll. Yeeeeeeeeeeeees. That wallscroll was _hers._ And so were two of the bookcases! Books were fun!

Hey. The light was on! Why was the light on?

_Then_ she realized that there were people in the room. An elf in some sort of police uniform was hovering near the ceiling, apparently berating a slimy, crouched figure that was trying to hide in the closet, a gaggle of girls in various costumes were huddled on her sister's bed, a prince and a Japanese teenager were discussing forms of monarchy, a red-tailed hawk was perched atop a bookcase, a pigtailed ten-year-old chattered happily to a group of bemused dwarves as their hobbit companion was attempting to remain as far away from the closet as possible while still remaining part of the group, a cat sprawled on her pillow, and a bespectacled boy with a scar on his forehead lay on her bed, staring at the stars on the ceiling(they were in the shape of the Dark Mark).

This was a problem. If she didn't make them leave soon, she would never be able to foil C.U.T.S!

She gave tremendous cough, and the room suddenly fell silent. All eyes were on her. Sleep. Sleep was good. It would be easier to defeat C.U.T.S. if she wasn't sleepy. She removed the kitty-laden pillow from her bed, and began feebly pushing the boy with glasses.

"Get offa my muh bed, Harry. I wanna sweep!"

Ignoring her pushing, he stared at her. "Why is there a Dark Mark on your ceiling?"

"My cousin suggested it and I was bored. Now get off my bed!"

Relenting, he went to stand to stand by the prince. They were still staring at her. Snuggling under her covers, she lay her head on the remaining pillow, determined to enter the land of dreams, where multiple personalities abounded and bedrooms were science labs.

"Mudgirl, what are you doing?" demanded the still hovering elf.

"I'm sleeping Holly, dear. I can't beat C.U.T.S. if I'm tired."

"-What's C.U.T.S.?-"

"Ack! Birds in my head! Birds in my head!"

"So the bird _does_ talk." The girls on the bed seemed very interested by this. Especially the one with wings.

"-Yes. And he has a name too.-"

This time the pigtailed girl spoke. "What is it?"

"- It's _Tobias_. And I still want to know what C.U.T.S. is.-"

They didn't know? "C.U.T.S. is the Coalition of Unfair Teachers and Superintendents. They make students sick during the holidays so they can't have fun _or_ do their homework. And they don't have any provisions for vacation illness in school policy. This is the second time I have been a victim to their plots. I must stop them or the museum will never display cheese again!"

"…"

"You know, she actually made a few degrees of sense."

"Until she got to the part about cheese."

What madness was this? Cheese always made sense! "Prince Char! It's always about cheese!"

"How did you know it was me?"

"Your dulcet tones are easily recognizable."

"Odd, Fred and George said _I_ was the one with dulcet tones."

"Quiet Harry, or I won't give you any lemonade."

Twenty-four pairs of eyes stared in disbelief.

"Maybe if you humans stopped talking to her, she'd stop babbling."

"Yeah, listen to the dwarf."

"Preciousssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss."

"…"

"Let's ignore him too."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Shut him in the closet Holly!"

"Sure thing hobbit."

Finally! She could sleep! Beware C.U.T.S., for thy days are numbered.

"Out of curiosity, has anyone else here died?"

"Is death the reason your hair looks that way?"

"Shaddup."

"I think you're the only dead man here."

"-I'm not human anymore, does that count?-"

"Sure, why not."

"While we're on the subject of Dead Boy here, can I ask why he's on the poster?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Quit being in denial! It only takes up most of the wall!"

"And he's on lots of the books in bookcase."

"Oh look! There's a knife on desk!"

"It's a letter opener Dead Boy."

"I have a name!"

"What is it?"

Silence.

"Well?"

Barely audible muttering. "I don't remember it."

Raucous laughter burst forth.

This would never do. They all had to leave now! She leaped to her feet, yelling :

"Bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" Then fell into the mother of all coughing fits. When she was able to breath again, she looked up. There was no one in sight.

She only had enough brain power left for one thought:

Whut?

To Be Continued…

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Elf in Police Uniform-Holly Short from Artemis Fowl

Slimy Crouched Figure in Closet-Gollum from Lord of the Rings

Girls on the Bed-Cardcaptor Sakura and the members of Tokyo Mew Mew (The one with wings is named Mint)

Prince-Prince Char from Ella Enchanted

Japanese Teenager/Dead Boy-Atem from Yugioh

Red-Tailed Hawk-Tobias from Animorphs

Pigtailed Ten Year Old- Chiyo-Chan from Azumanga Daioh

Dwarves- Dwarves from The Hobbit

Hobbit- Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit

Cat- Fiddle from Chronicles of Chrestomanci

Boy with Glasses and Scar- Harry Potter

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Ending Author's Notes! This story will have at least one more chapter! Tune in next time to find out where everyone went!


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